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Friday, 28 May 2010

Cycling meets Brass Eye

"A tumultuous and at times surreal week for the sport of cycling began with reports in the Italian press of an investigation into "motorised doping" – following rumours that riders might be racing with tiny engines in their bikes"

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2010/may/22/lance-armstrong-floyd-landis-cycling

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Thursday, 27 May 2010

On the Bakerloo Line this evening...

...the driver with the golden tonsils:

"It's been a pleasure conveying you on the bakerloo line."
"We'll just wait for the train to pootle on its way"

Lovely stuff.

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From the Guardian Over-by-Over Commentary

75th over: England 289-4 (Trott 141 Morgan 7) "I once interviewed a guy from Oxford uni for a job named Oswald Cuthbert Woodbine III," reveal's Zubair Shah, as this afternoon's OBO begins to take a truly surreal turn, "What a name. It was for a job at the cabinet office. He spent the interview telling me about the cricket team at Uni coached by a guy called Black Robertson who had been shot down in the war and survived, but had metal arms as a result. Apparently he used his arm as a bat."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2010/may/27/england-bangladesh-first-test-live

HERO!

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Monday, 24 May 2010

Man Shot In Back At London Fields

Mayor of Hackney Jules Pipe said: "Despite this very worrying incident, hundreds of people were able to enjoy the event in London Fields safely and without interruption." 

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Eastbourne Knows How to Party

I have been staying in Eastbourne on a work trip since Tuesday. It has the nickname "God's Waiting-Room" due to its popularity with the elderly as a place to retire to or holiday in. I can exclusively confirm that this is true, judging by my hotel.

Highlights include:

- listening to competitive discussions about how many friends and family had passed away.
- the leaflet advertising the visit of a lookalike of the Queen being a "royal visit in February 2011". Her diary must be very busy.
- the singer/comedian telling a long winded Viagra joke to the joy of the pensioners in the crowd, before launching into an upbeat rendition of "Up on the Roof" and ending with "Hey Baby".
- chilling with my homie John Sargent at lunch.
- hearing an old lady singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight" very loudly outside my room.
- the picture in my room being hung upside down on the wall:


- the buffet lunch, including flowers in the salad and large slabs of Spam.
- signs in the town for "local shops" - very Royston Vasey.

Plus much, much more.

Let's hear it for Eastbourne, the UK's top rated holiday destination!

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Sunday, 9 May 2010

What is Kay Burley?

I rarely watch Sky News.  Any channel that freely refers to Fox News as its "sister station" is just not for me.  Consequently, I have rarely seen Kay Burley anchoring live and in a way I feel that I'm missing out on something by doing this this.  Judging by the drivel I have seen her chat on Youtube, she seems like an idiot.

She has made Peter Andre cry:


Adopted the argumentative tactics of a child:


and yesterday seemed to fail to understand the concept of people demonstrating for a cause rather than against one.  She belittled a very polite gentleman  who was taking part in a protest in London where thousands of people marched for electoral reform, and kept bellowing that the electorate had actually voted for a hung parliament:


To many people's joy and satisfaction, Burley later became the target of the protesters at the rally as some vocal members of the crowd repeatedly shouted "sack Kay Burley, watch the BBC":


This elections has made me see Rupert Murdoch's media empire in its true light.  I believe in free press and reporting sans agenda and manipulation of the public, and Sky and the Sun have behaved in a pretty shoddy manner.

Now, what time is the footy on Sky today?  Oh.... damn.

Monday, 3 May 2010

Star Street

Comedy hero Graham Linehan's blog Why, That's Delightful is an excellent source of funnies and insightful comment.  I was having a look this evening, and he recently posted a picture of a Stephen Fry lookalike from an agency called Fake Faces.

Fry, unwinding

I too share Linehan's fascination with this breed of entertainers.  I distinctly remember seeing a terrible lookalike of Piers Brosnan appearing on some daytime show when Brosnan's first James Bond movie had been released.  I was confused by the way that people were accepting him as a good lookalike when he was just some bloke with dark hair that had some designer stubble.

Here are some more of my favourites from Fake Faces and Splitting Images:

Renowned TV Chef Brian Turner

Best bit: Not many people will know who Brian Turner is.  Very specialist.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, at home
Best bit: Michael's tie, and the proximity of the camera to the happy couple.

"Gorgeous" George Galloway

Best bit: The photo being taken in his bedroom, which appears to be extremely purple.  Very UKIP.

The dynamic Sir Alex Ferguson
Best bit: The quality of the photograph.  Give him credit though, he has the suit down to a tee.

Hollywood's Morgan Freeman
Best bit: Pebble-dash and roll neck combo.

International Super-Villain and frequenter of bedsit parties, Dr. Evil
Best bit: He may very well be Chinese, and this looks like it was taken at a fancy dress party where some drunk people persuaded him to ditch his day-job to become a lookalike.

England football legend David Seaman

Best bit: The moustache.

Kevin Spacey, actor

Best bit: Sideburns.

and finally, my favourite so far...

Zany Robin Williams

Best bit: EVERYTHING.

I could go on, as there seems to be a very large amount of these lookalikes out there.  I do worry for these people if it is their only income.  I just can't see much of a demand for the Gary Glitter lookalike these days.